raisons d'être
by tectrices
Summary: Their God. His reason for existence. When faced with a situation that rapidly spirals out of control, what can Akito do? That insidious man. Shigure wants one thing, and no matter what it takes, he is going to have it. Complete.
1. Fight

**_raisons d'être_**

**

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**_Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket._

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Title: raisons d'être  
Authoress: ILB  
Fandom: Fruits Basket  
Pairing: Dog and God  
Rating/General Warnings: **'T'-- **Will contain a bit of coarse language, insidiousness (look it up- NO word describes Shigure better), and hints of physical intimacy

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**A/N:** IMPORTANT! Even though I'm nearly certain that EVERYONE knows, I felt it my duty to mention that this may contain spoilers. (But as I said... Who doesn't know?) If you are an Akito fan and have no wish to have your visions and interpretations of _him_ turned upside-down, I fear I must suggest that you find another story. -On a much happier note! This is my first Furuba fic,so I'm eager to see how I measure up.That's all; I'll be back at the end of the chapter! Read and enjoy! 

**xXx**

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_FIGHT_**-**Chapter One

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Akito smiled ruefully, sitting alone and looking out across the gardens. She held a flower tightly in her hand, nearly crushing the stem with the pressure her small fist applied. She pulled off a petal and watched it flutter to the ground. "Loves me not," she whispered, as the soft, blood-red petal stained the cool, light-wood floor. With a feeble strength that never lacked in viciousness, she plucked the next petal. "Loves me not."

Her life had been a waste– a lie, a trumped-up excuse for an actual existence. She clung so tightly to her Jyuunishi– so tightly that it choked them and they struggled to get away. They fought to escape her twisted love– her twisted infatuation. She didn't understand– and she resented them just as much as she wanted to forever own them.

The next petal fell. "Loves me not." _Pluck_. "Loves me not." There was one left of the haggard, once-proud blossom.

She watched the last petal float on imaginary currents to the floor, landing on top of the others in a bloody-beautiful pile. She smiled in perverse pleasure at the bleeding flower petals below. She threw the stem off to a corner of the room and gently reached down and touched the red-silk remains with a tentative finger.

"He loves me not."

* * *

The kids were fighting. 

Kyo was screaming– loudly and brilliantly really, like a raging fire– while Yuki was sneering, and Tohru sat in the middle of it all, eyes wide as she sputtered mindlessly, trying to keep the two boys from killing each other. Shigure smiled to himself. What could it hurt to indulge them? They might truly hate each other deep down– but maybe they didn't. (No... They did.) Fighting was all they knew– all they were ever destined to know of each other. And though it wasn't much, it was all the acknowledgment they had. Who was he to break such a binding cycle?

"Hmm. Tohru-kun!" he called cheerfully, voice as bright as he could tone it . "I have to leave the house for a bit. Can you mind it while I'm gone?"

She snapped out of her panic when she heard her name, and quickly scurried over to him. "Ah! Um, um, are you going out, Shigure-san?" Her head tilted the slightest bit to the side as she questioned him. It really was absolutely adorable, he had to admit.

"Yes," he said glancing around surreptitiously– even though the only other people present were Yuki and Kyo, and they had begun fighting about something else. "I'm going on a super-secret mission!" He put a finger to her lips. "So don't tell anyone, Ok?"

She opened her mouth as though to say something– surely something _profound_– but as though deciding against it, she tightly closed her lips and just nodded fiercely, her face stern. "I won't say a single thing, Shigure-san. I promise!"

He smiled kindly, resisting the urge he had to roll his eyes and chuckle. He put a hand atop her head and ruffled her hair gently. "Tohru-kun's a good girl." He smiled again– an empty smile, and headed out. He got to the door and stopped. Should he? He really shouldn't... Oh, why the hell not? He smirked to himself and called, "Take care of the house while I'm gone, my dear! Don't let those naughtykids misbehave!" He chuckled appreciatively as Yuki and Kyo forgot their feud and began shouting at him. They really were far too easy. Perhaps he'd call Haa-san later. Now _there_ was a challenge...

His thoughts turned darker as he got further from his home. He knew why he was going; he knew what he had to prove. Control– even if it was subtle or unnoticed, possession of such a thing was something he prided himself on. He was the one working from the shadows; he was that unseen force in the family that sent a shiver down the more principled people's spines. His principles were simple: accomplish the goal at whatever cost, and cover your own ass. Quite a code to live by, wasn't it?

But he was beginning to let that control slip through his fingers. Such a thing had never happened before; he either succeeded or bailed out before the crash. Things hadn't changed, had they? He hadn't changed, and he was certain that... well, that the other party involved hadn't changed either. He needed to know that he was still in control and as unsuspected as ever. He wanted to be sure of exactly where he stood. After all, he still had things left to accomplish. And no matter what, he wasn't giving up. He would get what he wanted, and to hell with whatever obstacles dared to get in his way.

His mind was so consumed, he barely even noticed when he arrived at his destination. A maid smiled blankly in greeting and bowed. "Hello, Shigure-san," she said. "If you'll come this way... I believe that he'll be expecting you."

* * *

Akito sat alone in the dark. A perfect environment for such a dark soul. There wasn't any noise– only stark silence and the cheerless air in all that smothering darkness. 

She sat, her knees pressed up against her chest. She was feeling poorly again, and it was making her even more irritable. The world was such a disgusting, horrid place; such foul inhabitants, too. Akito felt sick just from the weight of all her disdain.

She heard footsteps approaching, but paid them no heed. After all, only a complete idiot would dare disturb her then. The footsteps grew the slightest bit louder. After a moment she heard a voice respectfully call her name.

"Akito-sama?" the maid said quietly, entering the room. "Shigure-san has arrived; will you see him?"

Akito grunted her consent, and she heard Shigure shuffle in. She turned her head away from hin; she had no desire to see him or speak to him at all.

Shigure waited until the maid was gone, and then trudged over to Akito. She didn't look well– her health had probably taken another downward turn. He sat down beside her, so close they were almost touching. The pervasive silence reigned until he said softly, "Hello, Akito-san."

She didn't want to see him. She didn't want him to be there. Why was he there? Had Hatori called him? She was sure that _she_ hadn't summoned him, not that the foul, disobedient dog would have listened anyway. He lived to torment her.

"Why are you here, Shigure?" she asked, finally looking at him.

He cocked his head to one side and smiled disarmingly. "To see you, of course."

She rolled her eyes, and sneered in disgust. "How kind."

Absently, he fingered a stray wisp of her dark hair. "Yes, I am, aren't I?"

Akito knew that he wasn't. "Right. And I'm just another worthless mortal."

He smiled condescendingly, as though agreeing with a small child. "I know you are."

Her fists clenched tightly together, the only immediate sign that he had made her angry. "You don't know anything," she spat. "So shut up!"

Shigure shrugged. "Whatever you wish, Akito-san." They sat in pressing silence for a long moment. Then he said, "You know, Yuki's progressing well at school. He has truly begun to flourish now that he's in a... _healthier_ environment."

Akito realized he was trying to make her angry; she felt rather enraged, but refused to give him the pleasure of knowing that he had had any sort of effect. She was never quite sure how to handle Shigure; he was different from the others, and she had yet to understand why. So sticking with what she knew worked was always the plan. "Yuki will come crawling back to me one day," she said flippantly, as though she didn't care. "He can't stay away; I know it, he knows it, and all that's left is for it to happen. I am patient." He snorted at that, and she narrowed her eyes in response to his insolence.

"And I have... other distractions while I'm without him." She glanced at her companion out of the corner of her eye. "Didn't you know?" She smirked, looking far too smug. "I have Kureno to... keep me company."

Shigure didn't betray any of the feelings that raged inside of him. But that didn't matter– Akito was trying to hurt him, and she knew when she had succeeded.

"Well. I'm glad you don't miss him, then. He certainly seems to enjoy spending time with normal– or rather, _un-cursed_ people. Especially Tohru-kun– he seems to care a great deal about her."

"Why should it matter?" she asked with a frown, rather put-out about her victory being spoiled. "I'm the only one who matters."

"Oh, you're right Akito-san. You're the only one who matters." His mocking smirk was quite infuriating.

"Stop it!" she yelled, hands clenched into fists of rage. "Why don't you mean it? Why do you sit and smirk and never mean a word you say? I hate you; I hate you!" She lunged at him, nearly screaming.

Shigure snapped. He caught Akito as she threw herself at him and slammed her against the wall he had just been leaning on. "Hate me?" he barked at her quietly– coldly– her eyes wide and her breathing rapid. He had both her wrists pinned above her head with one hand, the other near her throat. "Go ahead and hate me, dear, _dear_ Akito-san. If you give a damn about anything at all in this world, then please keep hating me. It's only a matter of time- one day I will break you."

He shifted closer as she sat further back on her heels, the heavy, unforgiving wall preventing any escape. His knee was pushing into the fabric that had been stretched across her own two knees, his body so frighteningly close. She watched a strand of hair sway at his eye, unstill from his fierce movements. His free hand pushed into her throat the barest bit, and she whimpered lowly at the slight pain.

He had the audacity to look pleased.

"You can't do this," she said hoarsely. "I'm your god; I own you." She watched him, still aware that he was dangerous. "You forget your place, Shigure," she said, trying so hard not to be afraid. "But your efforts are pathetic and futile. A dog will always be loyal to its master."

He leaned closer, a look of loathing in his dark eyes. She was half-scared he was going to bite her. "He might not leave his master, but that doesn't mind he can't find himself a new bitch."

For a moment, Akito truly felt terror. Shigure leaned in as close as he could, his breath hot and heavy on her face. His jaw was clenched in rage, and she was sure he'd snap if the situation kept escalating. But as though he suddenly realized that his actions would have consequences, he dropped her wrists and backed away.

Her legs slid out from under her, and she landed on the floor with a soft 'thump'. Her back was to the wall, the whole room taken up by the intense presence of the man before her. "I hate you," she whispered again, softly and desperately. She shakily stood, leaning on the wall to support herself. And without another word, she left– fleeing from him as though he was holding her death in his hands.

* * *

Kureno lived in a different world. He existed inside-outside the reality of his fellow man, in a realm of secrets and solitude. His little goddess... She truly did lead a cursed life, deluding herself and falling deeper into a world of dangerous, consuming illusion. 

Just then, the very object of his thoughts walked briskly past him. And she looked unusually distraught. "Akito?" he asked in surprise. "Are you alright?"

"Be quiet!" she snapped. "I don't want anyone to disturb for the rest of the day– do you hear that? No one!"

He watched her stalk away, wondering what in the world had riled her up so badly. It was only a moment later he received his answer. Kureno heard a voice– a rather familiar voice he knew would upset Akito– and ducked into another corridor, out of sight.

"Did you enjoy your visit, Shigure-san?" a young maid asked as he was leaving.

Shigure smiled serenely. "Oh yes; Akito-san certainly knows how to entertain a guest. We enjoyed ourselves immensely. If I'm not careful, all this fun will be the death of him."

The maid twittered a bit in rather unsure laughter. Kureno peered around the corner just in time to see Shigure's eyes gleam with a malevolent light. Whatever he was planning... Kureno knew that things would be coming to a boil.

* * *

_...to be continued..._

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-AUTHOR'S RAMBLE**: (A new feature I've added. Please note that this is entirely skippable!) WHAA! Oh my goodness I'm so excited. I love this fic! Whee! I hope that I portrayed the characters well- this is my own interpretation, so I'm not sure how I did in terms of popular-approach. I love Akito and Shigure pairings, because the characters are so volatile and... and dark and poetically haunting and... (sigh) beautifully writeable. Nothing actually happens in this fic. It's five chapters long, and that's it. All that I really write about is their relationship; nothing is resolved, no twists come, and all it really is is an excuse for me to scratch my creative itch. Thought I'd give you fair warning. Anyway, an update is coming soon. I eagerly invite you all to leave reviews! bye bye bye

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_The only respite you ever receive is knowing you own him; he can't ever leave._


	2. Flight

**_raisons d'être_**

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_Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket._

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Warnings: a bit of bad language**

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A/N:** Nothing to say except THANK YOU to the people who reviewed! I really appreciate it. 

**xXx**

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_FLIGHT_- Chapter Two

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The morning sun was bright and beautiful. Tohru woke with a smile on her face to the happy, shining light pouring in through her window. She was happy; who wouldn't be happy when they were as lucky as she was? Taking care of the three other occupants of the house might have seemed a daunting task, but in exchange for all their kindness she was more than happy to take it on. 

She pulled on a skirt and a thin top and went down to make breakfast. It was still early, and the men were probably still asleep. But Tohru didn't mind; though she would never tell the others for fear of offending them or hurting their feelings, it was actually nice to get a bit of quiet time to herself. She liked the warm, peaceful silence that came with early morning.

Happily humming to herself, she gathered the things she would need for breakfast, and began preparing the meal. It took her by surprise when, only a minute or so later, a groggy figure came stumbling into the kitchen. "Ahh! Good morning Yuki-kun!"

Yuki rubbed tired eyes, and tried to force a small smile on his face. "Good morning Honda-san."

Tohru beamed brightly, and continued with her duties.

Yuki sat down, filling the silence with a wide yawn. "Where are the others?" he asked sleepily. "I'm usually the last one out of bed."

"I haven't seen either," Tohru replied. "Shigure-san is still sleeping, I believe, but Kyo-kun told me yesterday that he was going out early. Probably to see Shishou-san. He'll be home later, though."

"Lovely," Yuki replied sarcastically.

"Um... Do you think we should wake Shigure-san up? He's been sleeping for a very long time, and he might be hungry!"

Yuki shook his head. "Waking him up will only bring noise and nonsense, and I don't think I can handle that this early in the morning."

"Ahh. You're right Yuki-kun. Shigure-san is probably very tired if he is sleeping this much. We shouldn't disturb him. Have you noticed? Something has been bothering him lately; or perhaps it has been on his mind for a long time, and it's only just now bad enough to be noticeable." She looked at Yuki with pleading eyes. "You don't think something's wrong, do you?"

"Something's always wrong with him," Yuki muttered under his breath. But to Tohru he said, "I wouldn't worry, Honda-san. He's a big boy; he can take care of himself." He walked over to stand beside her, in case she needed any help.

"Yes. Of course you're right, Yuki-kun." She smiled.

"There's something about Shigure, though." Yuki continued, hoping to ease her mind. "I don't know why he does it, but you can be sure that he hides much of himself under that stupid attitude of his. Who knows– maybe he doesn't want us to know that he's an even bigger idiot than he seems to be. There's something... sinister about him, and you're right– it's starting to show."

"You... you don't really think that about him, do you Yuki-kun? He's been so kind to me, and... And I guess I try to think the best of him. Deep down, don't you think he's a kind person?"

"Of course he is, Honda-san,"Yuki said with a sigh. "Of course he is."

* * *

Akito clung to Kureno tightly, sitting snuggled in his lap. They were silent, her attitude sullen and bitter. Kureno stroked her hair softly, hoping to calm his tempestuous goddess. She was indeed a pathetic creature– a creature to be pitied. He knew she felt it, the pity that tied him to her. And she hated it; Akito resented it so much. But he was free, and he stayed. The bond, whatever it might have been, still meant something to him. She needed to believe that. She needed some fragile half-truth to hold on to, lest all her mind fall prey to darkness. 

Something had happened the day before. Kureno knew it, but Akito wouldn't say a thing about it. Shigure– he must have done something, but Akito had no physical wounds, and if the abuse had been mental, it would never be drug out of her.

"Nngh," she grunted, sliding an arm around his neck and hoisting herself to a more upright position, "Kureno..."

"Yes?" he asked quietly, putting a gentle hand to her waist for support.

"I don't feel well. Not well at all. I'm going to need Hatori. You're... Just... just go. Just go."

Obediently, he stood and let her slide to the floor. Walking out of the room and off to find somewhere to amuse himself, he began to formulate a plan. Was there really danger? He didn't know how far he could trust Shigure, and keeping Akito sane was his first priority. She needed stability, and if that meant no more of the emotional upheavals Kureno had learned the Dog could cause, then so be it. He, if from nothing more than a sense of duty to her, the one he had nearly abandoned, would protect her as best as he could.

* * *

Hatori would be there shortly, she had been informed, and so there was nothing to do but wait. Akito sat, stewing in her anger. She was angry at herself– angrier at herself than she could remember being– but most of her rage was directed at him. 

He always made her so angry. She had run away; she knew it. He made her **so** angry. She shouldn't have to run away, he should bend blindly to _her_ will! He should be the one surrendering, the one who slinks away in defeat. But it was she- Akito, his GOD- who had hung her head and bolted. He... He made her so fucking angry!

He was like a virus; he was cruel; he took over everything. Her mind was infected by him- driving out all thought until all that was left was an intense, _burning_ desire. He always made her burn. Deep inside her, where one would expect a soul to be, he laid his unquenchable fire. The flames consumed her very being, until in the throes of passion-driven anger, she had to scream, if just to distract him from his torture for a brief, fleeting moment.

And he knew it- he knew what he could do to her. (Didn't he? She was sure the vile bastard lived to torment her.) He would stare at her blankly, like he didn't care, or smirk at her like he knew something she didn't- like he was better than her. He, the fool that he was, better than _her_? Better than **God**? No, he was just pretending. He had to know how worthless he was.

But still her face burned in near-shame at her actions the previous day. He was the one to blame, though. He had pushed her until she couldn't take it.

She could still feel the pressure of his hand at her throat, feel the phantom bruises left on her wrists. His breath on her face was still warm and moist- his eyes still piercing and icy-hot. She could still, even then, feel the waves of unrestrained heat he had been emitting. He made her so hot; he made her so damn _hot_. He had been much too close; she had been so uncomfortable. But he still... Even in her memories he was magnificent. Even if she hated him for it (which she did), he had been magnificent. She could feel his heavy gaze on her, cutting through to bone. The very thought made her shiver.

Akito had wanted to get away so badly- to squirm and writhe to escape that heat. She could picture him exactly- from the fall of hair to the fit of his robe. The fit... of his... Yes, she could still see him, as stupid-looking as ever. He never did dress well- she was disgusted at how he so blatantly tried to show off his body. A smooth patch of chest could always be seen, viciously tempting her. She had trouble tearing her eyes away when he was that close. The jut of his collarbone fascinated her, and she had been possessed with the strange, irrational urge to taste it- trace it with her tongue, leaving the glimmer of warm, wet saliva on his skin.

And then, when he had leaned forward, the heat had made her whole body tremble with anticipation. She had hardly been able to stand it- she had wanted to hit him, slap him, make him get far, far away from her. And then she had... she had...

Akito sighed to herself raggedly. She had run away. Shigure was an idiot- a fool. She knew that. But that didn't stop him from getting deep under her skin. He was revolting- so offensive it made her sick. He wasn't nice at all; she hated him! That's right- she hated him. And no matter how hard he tried, she would never- EVER- break.

A voice broke through her thoughts. "Akito-san? I'm here."

She nodded, and the Dragon approached. "I'm not feeling well; I want you to fix it."

He sighed, and prepared to begin his examination. "What's the trouble? Do you know what's causing you to feel poorly?"

"Yesterday," she said bitterly.

He looked at her in confusion, a polite request for explanation.

Akito scowled. "Well, I meant that it started yesterday. I felt bad yesterday."

'_Mm, that explains it,'_ Hatori thought. _'She's just pissy, not ill.'_ He wracked his brain, trying to think of any events of note that had taken place the day before. Coming up empty, he felt it best to just commence a subtle interrogation alongside his preliminary examination.

"Breathe in," he told her. She did as he asked. "So," he began, trying to appear conversational, "What put you in a bad mood yesterday?"

"What makes you think I was in a bad mood?"

"Isn't that why you don't feel well?"

She scowled deeper. "Maybe," she conceded. "It isn't like it was my fault at any rate. He pushed me to it. He's just lucky I didn't decide to punish him for his impudence."

"Of course," Hatori replied, a good amount of nonchalance in his voice.

"Saying such things... It was ridiculous! As though I'll let him get away with it. He used to be so... so different. He used to care. Now all he wants to do is destroy any happiness I might have."

Hatori stopped what he was doing. "What? Who?" He was fairly certain he knew exactly who she meant.

"That's... that's none of your business, Hatori! Shut up; I don't want to hear another word about it." She put a hand to his cheek tenderly, an icy chill running down his spine. "And you know what happens when you don't do what I tell you."

"Of course, Akito-san. As you wish."

'_Shigure,'_ Hatori thought angrily, preparing to leave after the appointment with Akito. _'What the hell are you planning now?'_

_

* * *

_

_...to be continued..._

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-**Author's Ramble:** Whoo! Well, I don't know how this chapter turned out. I KNOW that the ending was weak, weak, weak. (But really... I was at a loss.) And the first scene prolly seems pointless. Well, it almost is, but there's one thing that I really needed to get across. I wanted to show that Shigure's perfectly-crafted mask is beginning to crack because of the strain his feelings for Akito put on him. If even Tohru notices, then obviously he's greatly affected. I don't know if I pulled that off, though. That's also what the first scene in the first chapter was for; well, it was similar in that it seemed pointless. I wanted to show then that Akito truly believes that Shigure doesn't love her. I don't know if anyone got that, either. Anyway, I thought the beginning of the third scene was good, so I guess that's alright. Please review and tell me what you think!

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_The only respite you ever receive is knowing you own him; he can't ever leave._


	3. Spite

**_raisons d'être_**

_**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.**

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**_Date: February 5, 2005  
Warnings: getting into the steamy stuff, but nothing descriptive and nothing that exceeds the rating-- very mild_**

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**_**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope this chapter is good; I like some parts A LOT, but other parts I really wasn't sure about. At any rate, I hope everyone enjoys; don't forget to review, please! 

**xXx**

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_SPITE-_ Chapter Three

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"Akito-san," Kureno said politely, trying to lessen her rage. "I thought you... You asked me for this. What's the matter?" His hand found her cheek. 

She turned away from him. "You could never understand! None of you understand me." She stood up, pulling on her robes. Kureno sat, confused and concerned, waiting for his goddess to give her next command. "I hurt, you fool; how can you know the things I suffer? It's not... it's not the same!" Her hands pulled into fists and her sides, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I don't want to see you! Just..." She took in a long, shaky inhale. "I'm leaving. You are free to do as you wish for now, Kureno. But be around should I need you."

And leaving him still half-clothed on the floor, unasked questions in the air all around him, she strode out of the room, trying with all her strength not to shed a tear.

* * *

Tohru opened the door. "Oh! Hello, Hatori-san," she said happily. "How are you?" 

He waved her greetings away. "Honda-kun... Where's Shigure? I need to speak to the ba– To him."

"Ah, he's in his study. If you just go on in there, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. Um... I, I know it's not polite, but he did say that I was to, er, bring any distractions to him at once. So I'm sure he won't mind the interruption."

Hatori nodded. "Thank you."

He strode purposefully into Shigure's study and found the novelist lounging in his office chair, feet propped up on the desk.

"Ahh, he–"

"Quiet," Hatori snapped, standing in front of him. "Do you actually think this will solve anything? You honestly believe that you can make a difference? No. This is ludicrous!" He leaned down, eyes wild. "You will only bring more turmoil to us all."

Shigure smiled, a twisted expression of sardonic subtlety. "Well hello Haa-san. Doesn't this promise to be a cheery visit?"

Hatori glared fiercely, keeping his composure as best he could. "I'm not in the mood for games now, Shigure. Just what do you think you're doing? What can you possibly be planning? What will torturing her like this accomplish?"

"More than you think, Hatori. I know you can't trust me, so I won't even ask. But, if you feel like being patient, you'll see eventually." He shrugged. "And who says I have a plan? Perhaps I just love feeding off the misery of others. I am evil after all, and she still refuses to break."

Shigure had known, from the moment he had first understood the concept, that he was not a "good" guy. He was the anti-hero– all but a villain. And his sins, though perhaps numerous, didn't weigh on the conscience that might not even be there. He was a private, selfish person, and... well, "the ends justify the means".

Hatori, on the other hand, was kind. He was the man who would pull the sword from the stone and rescue the princess. Shigure was the man who'd befriend him until he had enough power to further whatever evil plan was in motion then. Hatori saved the poor souls Shigure left in his wake. And it seemed that both were fine with that system. They worked together, good and evil, to keep the balance in the world.

But Hatori was becoming an obstacle. And as Shigure had proven time and time again, obstacles had to be removed. Did his no-heart principles include even his dearest friends?

"You can't believe that what you're doing is for the best. You're going to ruin more lives than I feel I'm allowed to let you."

"Oh, I'm not good," Shigure said with a fake smile, waving him off. "This is the part of the fairy tale when my villainous nature is revealed to all. I can't disappoint, now can I?"

"Bastard," Hatori spat at him.

"Now, now, Haa-san," Shigure chided, "watch your language."

Hatori folded his arms across his chest. "Just... Tell me what you hope to accomplish. Give your actions some justification. For weeks now, your shadows have been moving. Why?"

Shigure smiled sadly, looking off to the side at something Hatori couldn't see. "What are all the greatest stories about, hmm Ha'ri? Even the villains can fall in love I'm afraid. Maybe I am only thinking of myself, but it's all I think about. And regardless of why, I do it..."

Hatori sighed and finished the statement. "For her."

"Always. For her."

* * *

Akito was not difficult to find. Feeling bold, Shigure had snuck in to see her, telling the maids and other servants he encountered that Aktio had wished to keep their meeting a secret. 

He swept into the room a wayward breeze, delighting in the pout on his Akito's ambiguously beautiful face.

"Is that you, Kureno?" she asked, sensing a presence with the pull of the zodiac near her. "I thought I said that I wa–" She nearly gasped as she saw Shigure in the rooster's stead.

"Hello Akito-san," he said, a dark smirk playing across his lips. "I suppose you weren't expecting me."

She looked around almost frantically, very aware that they were Alone. "Shigure," she spat, "why are you here? Why are you bothering me? Is there something you want?"

"Yes. There is."

He sat down beside her, instigating the contact that was so common in a visit with Aktio. While he had intended to appear submissive and cold in previous meetings, he then made no effort to hide the abusively adoring side of his-self that had become so prominent as of late.

Akito was wary. "What is it?"

He brushed his fingertips over her cheek. "I wanted to... spend time with you. Is that so bad, Aktio-san? Would you punish me for coming to your alter?"

"No," she conceded grudgingly. "I wouldn't punish you for doing your duty; though I wouldn't reward you either."

He needed to touch her. "Of course not." A warm hand slid down to her neck, a single finger tracing hot, searing circles on her skin.

She nearly shuddered. He knew he was winning.

His warm fingertips slowed down, the intensity of the sensation increasing tenfold. She couldn't think. Were they still talking? Did he ask a question? Was she answering? Her skin was so tight-- she felt an itch run down her body.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered. "Tormenting me– what makes you think you have the right?"

"I only do it because I can," he said lightly. "If you didn't respond, then I'd be forced to stop. I always thought you enjoyed me."

"Idiot." She snorted in disbelief. He took her hand in his, knitting their fingers together. "You're tainted now," Akito nearly whispered. "Every time I touch you I think of... you touching _her_."

"You hate her?" It wasn't really a question.

"More than I hate you." She turned to look at his handsome face, something dark shining in her eyes. Softly, she dropped his hand and brought both of hers to his face. "And you know how much I hate you."

He pulled away from her. "Perhaps you just shouldn't think of that. Wipe the memory away."

Akito turned away. "I can't. I don't want you to have me; you had her, and I never needed you to begin with. I think it's about time for you to leave."

He graced her back with a maliciously amused smirk. "Oh, I understand. Worried that you can't match up? Worried that she's so much more of a woman? Is that what you care so much about?"

Her voice suddenly seemed to tremble; her throat was raw and red. "No– I don't care. I don't care." She pulled her knees closer, drawing into herself. "And in any case, I'm not..." Her voice was a whisper. "I'm not allowed to feel like a woman."

Shigure put his hands on her shoulders. When he spoke, his voice was like warm water easing down her body; his tone was light, but so, so warm. "Well. If that's all you're worried about..." Wearing a smirk she couldn't see, he leaned close to her ear. "Perhaps I shall take it upon myself to remind you." He gently– but insistently– pulled the cloth that covered her shoulders down to her elbows. "Remind you that you are, from the sweep of your hair to the arch of your foot, a beautiful... _Woman_."

She reached around to the back of his head, and grabbed a fistful of hair. He dared to kiss the skin of her neck. "Yes," she hissed, all in a breath, feeling still as though she should command. "I want you to... remind me."

He turned her head towards his with a finger under her chin, and kissed her softly, as though he cared– as though he were as gentle as his kiss. She turned to face him, drawn to his body's warmth.

Akito pulled a little at the hair twined in her fingers, her other arm curling around his neck. "Shigure... You taste like poison."

* * *

_...to be continued..._

_

* * *

_-**Author's Ramble:** I don't have that much to say this time. I hope the first scene made sense to everyone. The second scene isn't really that important, but I included it for... some reason. I swear there was a reason. But the last scene... Ooh, I loved the last bit of it. Wasn't the last line of the chapter just awesome? I'm a bit proud. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I'd appreciate any response that you'd like to give!  
_

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_

_The only respite you ever receive is knowing you own him; he can't ever leave._


	4. Night

**_raisons d'être_**

_**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket._

* * *

Date: Feb. 12, 2006  
Warnings: bit of bad language, and some steamy stuff

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to all the wonderful people who have reviewed. I appreciate all your comments so much; I'm so happy that you all like it! I had a little bit of trouble with this, butI think that this finished product is exactly what I was aiming for. Hopefully it's up to standard! Enjoy! 

**xXx**

* * *

_NIGHT_- Chapter Four

* * *

The sky was clear, a black canvas dotted with shining speckles of star. The moon was beautiful– bright and big and shining with an unmatched intensity. The night was gorgeous. 

But nobody was there to enjoy it.

Tohru and Yuki were asleep, Kyo was moping around the house somewhere, and Shigure was in his study, typing a few keystrokes every now and again. The story was progressing– slowly, but it had quality– and he wanted to mash out his ideas before they were lost.

He stretched out his arms above his head, hardly bothering to stifle his relieved groan. Surprisingly, his latest work had been much more "G-rated" than his usual books were. That is to say... No explicit, smutty sex scenes. Avid fans of his were sure to come flocking anyway of course, but... Well, he– as the author– knew why it was different, and the reason was more than a little unsettling. For every time he sat down to write of supple skin and quivering thighs, the only ones he could think about were... _hers._

And though he was the self-proclaimed horniest bastard that ever lived, something deep inside him cringed every time he began to pull from his experience with her. There was something almost sacred in their unions, and because of the rarity of such an experience, he wasn't about to do anything to defile it.

Words were so cheap, and in his romance-ridden world of passion and pleasure, cheap was one thing he _didn't_ need. But she... He needed her. Like sustenance, breath: she lived, and that gave him life. When all things faded, he would remember. And when they all turned on her, something that seemed to be hurtling faster and faster towards 'inevitable', he would be there, ready to hold and comfort, and help her pick up all the pieces.

Because even with all his flaws, he was still so _devoted_.

He chuckled dryly– mirthlessly– to himself as he fished around in one of the desk's drawers for a lighter. He felt so inhuman, reminded again and again of the nature of his curse. He was loyal– he was a _good boy_. But how wretchedly unfair, to be shunned by the very master he served.

Shigure took a long, slow drag of his cigarette. She really was on his mind more often as of late. He could smell her, taste her– he could _feel_ her, warm and soft, trembling beneath him. She really was consuming, taking over his mind and soul until she was the only thing his body craved. He would always remember that helpless craving– that feeling of _longing_ that overran everything else.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. He needed a distraction.

"Shigure!" A loud voice– Kyo's loud voice announced, the boy himself standing outside the study.

'_Ask and you shall receive,'_ Shigure mused, extinguishing the cigarette and pulling up the persona that Kyo knew.

"What the hell? Are you still awake?" Kyo asked crossly, glaring at the older man.

Shigure grinned. "A writer's toil knows no hours! Ahh Kyo-kun, how can I astound and amaze all my loyal fans if my inspiration retires with the sun?"

Kyo scowled. "I don't know how you can amaze anyone; you're such an idiot."

Shigure pouted pathetically. "Oh, Kyo-kun– do you really think of me so poorly?"

Kyo rolled his eyes. "I'm not even gonna answer that, you damn dog."

"So cruel," Shigure whined, his pout fading into classic puppy-dog eyes.

"Just stop it," Kyo said tiredly. "I'm not in any mood for this."

He did look tired, Shigure noted, as though something had been heavy on his mind. "Ahh, I see." He nodded sagely. "Something has upset our dear, little Kyo-kun. His fragile heart can't take it."

"Shut up!" Kyo said, pounding his fist against the wall. Shigure had to fight the urge to cringe.

"Alright then, I won't ask what's wrong." Shigure did a quick spin in his chair. "I won't bother Kyo-kun! I'm done writing, but I'll just be here in my study in case anyone needs me. I'm not doing any work at all, so I suppose I'm completely available." He glanced at Kyo out of the corner of his eye. "Staying in here, nothing to do, just–"

"I get it already!" Kyo fumed, "But I don't want to talk to you." He crossed his arms and scowled– but he didn't leave.

Shigure sighed. "Everyone has problems, Kyo-kun. Sometimes it's good to let them out. I might be an idiot, as you said, but I could be your idiot." He pouted again. "Let an old man help a poor, young boy out."

Kyo rolled his eyes, but stepped into the study anyway. His face was red– obviously the problem was embarrassing. After a long few moments of silence, he burst out with: "Shigure... Have you ever been in love?"

Shigure started, thrown off by the suddenness of such a question. "Well," he said, blinking, "That is a question, isn't it?" He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, thinking over an answer he could give Kyo. "Why the sudden interest, hmm? Have a certain special someone who's captured your eye?"

If it was even possible, Kyo turned an even darker shade of red. "M-maybe, but that's not any of your damn business!"

Shigure smiled to himself. "Love. Yes, Kyo-kun, I've been in love before. But only once– only once. She was... She _is_ a very special girl."

"Well..." Kyo glanced around nervously. "How did... how did Akito feel? I bet he wasn't too happy about that."

Shigure smiled again, but this time it was a sad, sad smile. When he spoke, his voice was filled with... _something_, that sounded not unlike sorrow. "Akito never found out how I felt."

"What am I supposed to do, then?" Kyo spat. "I think Akito knows already, and... How do I save her? What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Well Kyo-kun," Shigure said gently, "maybe it's best to do nothing at all."

"Wha–"

"Think about it. If you love her, you don't want her to get hurt, do you? And you can never be together; love isn't an issue in that respect. Akito has, I'm sure, already told you that you aren't allowed to be with the one you love."

"Yeah, he's told me." Kyo looked down. "He doesn't think anyone could love a monster. But..." Kyo's head shot up, his eyes burning as they pierced into Shigure's. "But I think he's the monster! I don't care who the hell he is, God or no, he's still just a twisted bastard!"

"Twisted? Yes, Akito isn't quite as balanced as perhaps we'd like him to be. But... Maybe there's something there that we just can't understand."

"Understand?" Kyo spat. "Who would _want_ to understand him?"

Shigure sighed. "You know what, Kyo-kun– why don't you go to bed? Get some rest; you look like you need it. And don't worry about Tohru-kun." He grinned at the boy. "Just stay be her as long as you can; I'm sure that would make her happier than anything else."

Kyo started to speak again, but Shigure cut him off. "Just... just go on, alright? It's good you love her; you deserve to know what it feels like to love. You're a good kid, Kyo-kun, a good kid."

With a look of confusion on his face, Kyo just nodded and left. Shigure sighed, and lit another cigarette. "Love?" He laughed almost cruelly to himself. "It's what makes the world go 'round." He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "I'm tired." His arms dropped down, one in his lap and the other hanging off the chair. He slumped down lower, his body limp and near exhaustion.

"Fuck love. I never wanted it anyway."

* * *

Akito was in a bad mood. Hatori hadn't found anything wrong with her– so no pills–, Kureno had been distancing himself recently– probably out of misguided concern of some sort, but it still made her angry– and she hadn't seen Shigure in two weeks. Normally encounters with him faded fairly quickly, but she hadn't been able to get him out of her head. He had done something to her– infected her, poisoned her. She wasn't sure what it was, but it hurt. Her whole body hurt just to think of him. He had been so... _caring_. But he didn't care; she knew that. He was only acting different because he probably had something that he wanted. Well whatever it was, she would make sure he didn't get it. 

And not only that. He had promised he would come see her again soon. She wasn't an impatient person– she assured herself– but two weeks did not logically fit into the category of "soon". She told herself that she didn't care, but even she knew that was a lie. She _wanted_ to see him. She enjoyed her little dog, and it was high time he came back to her. She scowled and told herself she didn't care.

It was two days more before she saw him again.

* * *

Shigure smiled flirtatiously, causing a younger maid to blush. He wove around the corridors and rooms, making his way to Akito. He knew she'd be angry with him, but he really couldn't find the will to care. 

"Hello Akito-san," he said, bowing respectfully. "Have you missed me?"

"No," she spat, "And I don't want to see you now!"

"You don't?" he asked, blinking innocently. "But I promised you I would come again. Don't you want me to keep my promise?"

She sneered. "I don't give a damn what you do, Shigure. You've already proven how important my opinion is to you, so why don't you take your sorry ass out of here and never bother me again?"

His tone was clipped and cold. "But I live to _bother_ you Akito-san. Don't you want me to bother you? Don't you want me to love you? Don't you want me to come back again and again, begging you to notice me?" He smiled oh-so-cruelly. "Well let me tell you something, Akito: I'm tired of begging."

She took a step back. He was frightening her again, dark and looming and cold.

He grabbed her wrist. She tried to pull away but he yanked her closer. He smirked ruthlessly and ran his hot, wet tongue along her pulse. She shivered, her heart pounding.

"You will regret this, Shigure," she said lowly. "Let go of me. Now."

"But I thought you wanted us to love you, Akito-san. Don't you want me to _love_ you? Let me, Akito-san."

"Stop it, you're scaring me!"

"You deserve it. I've been holding everything in for far too long. I–"

"Just stop!" she exclaimed wildly.

He let her go and stood there, vacant and deathly quiet. She furrowed her brows in anxiety, worried he'd snap again. "Shigure? What's wrong with you?"

He seemed to snap back into reality. His lips quirked up into a grin. "What's wrong? You, Akito. I seem to be a bit irrational when it comes to you. I really am tired of begging. You're either going to give me what I want, or I'm going to take it."

"And wh-what is it that you want so badly?" She held the wrist he had grabbed tightly, as though trying to erase the memory of his grip.

This time, he genuinely smiled. "Why, that's simple. All I want... is all of _you_."

She seemed to relax. "Of course. You live to torment me, don't you? Pretending you care."

He stepped closer. "Pretend? You don't even know what it is to love, Akito. How would you know anything about how I feel?"

"I don't know what's wrong with you, Shigure, but you're not yourself. You don't know what you want."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, don't I? I've loved you since the moment I knew you, Akito. I wish I could die so I wouldn't have to love you; I wish my heart was ripped out of my body so I wouldn't have to love you. Akito, I would–"

She had walked over to him as he had been speaking. She took his hand and put it to her cheek. "Say it again."

"Wha–"

"My name. Say it again."

"Akito."

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the tips of his fingers. "I forgive you."

"Akito."

She took a tiny step closer. "And I love you as well, Shigure." He was sure she didn't.

"Akito."

He took back his hand and gracefully pulled off his robe. She smiled, her eyes half open, as he stood naked before her. Her thin hands touched his chest gently. She kissed him there, below his shoulder, and murmured against his skin, "You're perfect."

"Akito."

She looked up, meeting his eyes. "That's right, Shigure. It's alright." She kissed his chest again.

He slowly undressed her.

"You're beautiful," she said, so lowly that it was almost air. "You have no right to do this to me, though. I'm still angry about your long absence. And about your behavior once you arrived here. You don't deserve me. You treat me so badly,and yetI'm so kind– I forgive you every time."

"You're right," he conceded, fingertips falling on her body like rain. His voice got deeper. "You're a goddess, and should certainly be treated as such." He hovered over her body, gently nudging the side of her chin with his nose and lips. He kissed her neck, feeling her small body tremble in response. "You should be _worshiped_."

And worship her was exactly what he did.

* * *

_...to be continued..._

**

* * *

-Author's Ramble:** WHOO! That was good, right? Akito is getting hard for me to write, but I promise I'm trying. Most of her motivation for this chapter was that she wanted to blame Shigure and not herself. When she says things like "It's alright", she's really telling herself that. I'm not sure how well I managed to convey that in the story, though. I'd appreciate response, as always. Oh, and I'm starting a C2 community for any fic that features Akito as a female. I feel sort of guilty about this, but I just _can't_ read fics where Akito is male. If you want to be staff PLEASE let me know. I have no requirements, so anyone's welcome!

* * *

_The only respite you ever receive is knowing you own him; he can't ever leave._


	5. Delight

_**raisons d'être ** _

__

* * *

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.

* * *

_Date: Mar. 2, 2006  
Warnings: a bit of strong language-- just a bit

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**A/N:** I'm SO sorry that it took me so long to update. This is the final chapter of this fic, and I must say I rather hate for it to end. I appreciate each and every review, and I want say a huge thank you to all those who took the time to leave a comment. A note-- the scene in italics follows the fourth chapter directly, and it happened first. Everything in regular type came after. Read and enjoy, everyone! 

**xXx**

* * *

_DELIGHT-_ Chapter Five  
_

* * *

Akito woke, eyes blinking open lethargically. The room was dark still, no light coming in through the closed window. She wanted to go back to sleep; for some unfathomable reason, she had slept well the previous night, and she had no inclination to let that sleepy, dreamy haze fade._

_She felt warm– warm, warm, **warm**– though she wasn't quite sure why. Her eyes, so tired, so heavy, slowly closed. Knowing no one was around to care, to question, she let herself indulge in a lazy, contented smile. Time to rest again._

_"Akito?' a voice questioned groggily (voice, whose voice? Oh, she swore she knew it.) "Are you awake?" A hand moved across the skin of her stomach, feeling warm and strong– feeling so familiar; why was it there, who was there? "Mmm, let's sleep a little more," he said, daring to pull her body closer to his. "It's nice here; so comfortable, so nice..." She heard him yawn, and then laugh at himself for it. "Damn, I'm still tired. Let's sleep, huh?"_

_He didn't need an answer– it was Shigure, Shigure, Shigure; she knew, it was him, oh why had she let him stay?– and was too groggy to even notice when Akito went stiff and silent._

_And the one thought in her head:_ Where the hell would they go from there?

* * *

Hatori found Akito later that morning, sitting on a stone bench in the garden. She had a red flower in her hand, slowly plucking the petals off and watching them fall to the ground. 

Feeling curious and then instantly berating himself for it, he wandered over to her. He bowed. "Good morning, Akito-san."

She shrugged. "Good? Deceptively so, if you want my opinion. The world mocks me."

Hatori sighed. The conversation already promised to be such _fun_. At least she was in a relatively good mood.

She pulled off another petal. "Do you know this game, Hatori?" she asked absently. She patted the bench beside her. He obeyed and sat.

"No, Akito-san, I can't say that I do. What game is it?"

She pulled off another petal. "You take a flower. You pull off all the petals."

A destructive game. He wasn't surprised that she seemed to enjoy it. "Is that all, Akito-san? It doesn't seem like much of a game."

She scowled. "No, don't be stupid. One petal is 'He loves me' and the next petal is 'He loves me not'." She pulled off the next petal.

"Oh." Hatori was silent after that, wondering what she could mean by playing such a game. Akito just continued mindlessly.

"Hm." After a moment, she caught his attention. The stem lay on the ground, and Akito held the last petal gently between her thumb and forefinger. "Look, Hatori. He loves me." She put the petal in her palm and watched the wind blow it away, off to the ground. "He loves me; of course he loves me."

And completely catching Hatori off-guard– and confounding the poor man absolutely– Akito smiled. "Always. He is mine; he will always love me."

For the briefest moment, he considered asking her what she meant and who she was talking about. But realization hit him, and he felt sure he already knew the answer to both questions.

'_Shigure,'_ he thought with just the barest trace of anger. The effects– short-term at least– certainly seemed to be positive, but there was always a chance (an enormous, incredibly likely chance) that things would take a turn for the worst and spin violently out of control. It wasn't that Hatori was pessimistic, it was the simple fact that it was _Shigure_ he had to worry about.

Even as he glanced at Akito out of the corner of his eye and saw her relaxed posture and almost dreamy not-quite-a-smile (which in and of itself was disturbing) he couldn't help but worry. Even if he finally had an inkling of the desperate, consuming love his cousin had always kept hidden, he couldn't help but worry.

And, even if none of his other fears came to fruition, there was always the chance that a happy Akito was just as bad as an angry one.

* * *

_He held her for a long moment. She almost relaxed– not quite, but almost. It was enough to encourage him to honesty. "Akito," he whispered, his voice smooth and cool, "This is going to kill us. We're going to kill each other with this mad, endless, unhealthy cycle of hate and love."_

_"You could never hate me," she said, reassuring herself, her voice shaking and like ice. "You are my passion– warm, loving passion." She drew herself closer to him, arms circling tighter, pressing her breasts against his chest. "Would you deny it?"_

_He kissed her forehead. "Never."_

_Akito nodded and held him tighter. "Good."_

* * *

Kureno sighed, and took another long sip of the glass of water in front of him. He was relieved; things hadn't played out as he had anticipated. If anything, Akito seemed to be _more_ lenient (and content), not less. He had to admit, if only to himself, that he was more than pleased. 

And as though sensing his thoughts concerned her, Akito suddenly appeared. "Walk with me," she demanded, leaving no room for argument. And, sensibly, he obeyed without hesitation. They wondered outside, where Akito had been almost all day. Kureno wondered momentarily what had brought that about, but putting it down to one of her whims, he didn't give it much thought.

For the longest time, both were silent.

"I had... forgotten," Akito said softly, coming to a stop and gazing up at the sky. Kureno was shocked to hear such a tender tone issuing forth from _her_ mouth. Even though she stood beside him, tangible and unquestionably real, he could tell that her mind was with someone else completely. "I had forgotten," she said again.

He wasn't sure if she wanted him to inquire or not. "What had you forgotten, Akito-san?"

She frowned, but it faded with her next exhale. A wistful look overtook her face, and for another moment she was silent. "It's easy to forget what he means to me. I live in nothing but pain, I sustain nothing but suffering; and I have nothing but my mere existence to recommend me to life. I had forgotten how nice it was to live."

Kureno was a bit shocked by her words. He smiled sedately, however, and didn't let his surprise show. He had obviously underestimated either her feelings for Shigure or Shigure's ability to affect the fragile, young goddess. Whatever had happened (and Kureno had a very good guess as to just what _had_ happened), it had obviously tempered Akito's usual belligerence. He wondered– very briefly– whether or not it would be a permanent change. Knowing Akito's volatile personality and Shigure's penchant for being notoriously fickle, he seriously– though sorely– doubted it.

"Kureno," Akito said softly, beckoning him closer, "You mustn't think this means I love you any less." She put her hands on his shoulders. "I love you all."

He nodded detachedly, and she pulled him into a loose embrace. "I don't like to be alone," she murmured, as though offering justification for her actions. And, of course, that was all it really boiled down to: Akito did not like to be alone.

* * *

_Shigure kissed her, desperate and aching for one last taste before he had to leave her again. She was exquisite; it was becoming harder and harder for him to hide how he felt about her. Every smile sent his head spinning. Every touch twanged violently in his heart. She was like a drug; even though she was destroying him, he kept coming back for more._

_"Shigure– what are you thinking?" Akito queried softly. She held his face in his hands gently, forcing him to meet her own dark eyes._

_He smiled disarmingly and pulled her wrists down. He stood, disentangling himself from the warm world of limbs and linens he and his goddess had been lost in. He found his rather shabby robe and pulled it on. "What I'm thinking, hmm?" he repeated. "Why, I'm merely lost in contemplation." He shot her a cheeky glance. "About the beautiful new day, of course."_

_"Beautiful? I wouldn't call it that." Akito stood, and walked over beside him. His gaze was fixed out beyond the window, caught on some imaginary world floating in the early morning sky. She was still rather tired, dozy and dreary and not at all alert enough to begin her day. She had slept well though, and if she was ever capable of gratitude she certainly would have felt it then, for that._

_"Not nearly as beautiful as... me."_

_She frowned. "I don't like it when you tease me."_

_He grinned and casually slipped an arm around her. It was always comforting to have her close. "You must know by now that I don't mean it."_

_"I admit– I would like to think that you don't."_

_After that brief exchange, they both were silent. They stood there, warm and together and utterly unaware, trying desperately to forget that soon they would have to part again._

* * *

Tohru and Kyo were eating breakfast when Shigure flounced in. 

"And where the hell were you?" Kyo spat. "Are you just now coming in?"

"Kyo-kun!" Shigure squealed playfully, bounding over to sit beside him. "You missed me! Ahh! My heart sings with the knowledge of your care!"

"Shut up," Kyo spat, disgusted with his guardian. "If you're drunk, then you better go and sleep it off somewhere else." He snuck a glance over at Tohru. "You're a frickin' adult– you're supposed to be the responsible one around here."

Before Shigure could defend himself, or agree with Kyo's assessment, a loud yawn cut through the momentary silence. Yuki walked in, his eyes heavy with the last remnants of sleep, stifling another large yawn. "Wh... What's going on here? Why are you so loud so early, you stupid cat?"

Kyo leapt up to argue, but Tohru quickly intervened. "Um, g-good morning Yuki-kun! We were all here, um, talking. Kyo-kun was, ah... a bit angry at Shigure-san, I'm afraid."

Yuki raised a curious eyebrow. He looked at Shigure. "What have you done now?"

Shigure raised his arms up and shrugged innocently. "I don't know! I haven't done a thing! Kyo-kun's so mean..."

Yuki rolled his eyes. Kyo glared and said, "He was out the whole damn night, doing who the hell knows what, and now he comes in here, acting even more like an idiot than usual. He's probably drunk."

Shigure pouted. "I'm not!" he whined.

"Well... If you weren't out drinking, what were you doing?"

Shigure smirked. Yuki recognized the look immediately and blanched. Kyo took a moment longer. "Why the hell are you smirking like that? Wha–" his eyes widened substantially. "Gyah! You nasty old pervert! Going out for _that_? You're disgusting. And completely shameless."

Shigure rolled his eyes, unable to suppress the small surge of annoyance he felt. "Right, Kyo-kun. It's bad of me to go elsewhere to satisfy my appetites instead of bringing strange and unsavory women home to three impressionable young teenagers. Oh, I'm a filthy, filthy old man!"

'_Strange? Unsavory?'_ Tohru thought, feeling thoroughly confused. "Ah! Um, um–"

"Don't ask," Yuki and Kyo said together, eager to protect her from what they felt was Shigure's evil influence.

Shigure chuckled. "I don't know why you try to shield her. With the way you two act, I'm sure she'll see what I'm talking about one of these days."

Yuki narrowed his eyes dangerously. "How _dare_ you talk about Honda-san that way! Keep the hell away from her!"

Kyo was no less vehement. "I'm gonna kill you, damn it! You–"

"Kyo," a voice said suddenly, "Calm down."

All four looked and, to their surprise, saw Hatori.

"Haa-san!" Shigure said happily. "How I've missed you! Have you come to play?"

Hatori glared at him, showing just how serious he was. "I talked to Akito earlier this morning."

If Shigure was surprised, he didn't show it. "Oh really? Well isn't that pleasant. I'm sure that he was as charming as always."

"Cut the bull," Hatori said angrily, "This isn't the time for it. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Shigure shrugged. "Nothing you'd think was suitable justification."

"Shigure, I don't know what you did, but... But I don't like it! You can't just go screw her every time you want to stir things up!"

"Now, now Ha'ri," Shigure said calmly. "Let's not fight in front of the kids."

Hatori sighed, and composed himself. "Excuse me," he said to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru politely. "I need a moment with Shigure alone."

They nodded wordlessly as Hatori followed Shigure into his study.

"Why are you angry?" Shigure asked once they were alone. "Have I done something wrong again?" He opened his drawer and pulled out a cigarette. He offered one to Hatori, but the other man declined. "I told you that I had things planned out, and I do. I'm beginning to think that you don't understand."

"What's to understand?" Hatori asked harshly. "I–"

"I'm in love with her, damn it! I fucking love her more than my own damn life!"

Hatori started, in utter shock. "Wh... What?"

Shigure smiled cynically. "What a surprise, hmm? The man who cares for nothing but himself, doing everything for the sake of someone else."

They didn't speak for a long moment, instead choosing to waste away in silence. Smoke curled around the room, enveloping them both, as the news sunk in.

"I should have known it all along," Hatori said quietly. "I think I have known it all along. But..." He looked at Shigure, a mixture of hurt and confusion on his face. "What the hell does this mean?"

Shigure shrugged, his mask completely falling away. "It doesn't change a thing, Hatori– not a damn thing."

* * *

_"You're leaving me," Akito said quietly, her voice quivering, as she watched Shigure tidy himself up. When he didn't respond, she trembled in anger and said again, much louder, "You're leaving! You're leaving me, aren't you? Aren't you!"_

_He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Akito-san. I have to go."_

_"No!" She stood up, already in a deep rage. "You think you can just throw me away? Just forget about me when it suits you?" She ran at him, and pounded her tiny fists against his broad chest. "No! You will obey me! You will–"_

_He grabbed her wrists gently, and pulled them away. She looked up at him, breathing heavily. His eyes were warm, heavy and wet with things that he could never say. "Akito... I have to go."_

_Her lip quivered, and he was afraid she would turn hysterical and start yelling again. "Then go. I don't want here anyway."_

_"I–" He cut himself off, and shook his head, knowing there was nothing he could say. He bowed lowly, and took another deep breath. "Goodbye, Akito-san."_

_He kissed her softly, a last gesture of parting and remorse. Not even that small act could convey all that he meant it to. He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. She was stiff and rigid, acting as though she hated it and wanted him to let her be. But he could feel her hands clenched tight in the material of his robes, and even though it didn't mean much, he knew that he at least was something to her._

_His goddess._

_His life._

_The purpose for which he could wake, and live again every day._

_His reason for existence._

_Impulsively, she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down into another tortured, frantic kiss. It made his heart break to taste all that she gave him._

_Shigure pulled away. "Goodbye, Akito." He bowed again and turned. That time, she made no effort to stop him. He ambled slowly across the room._

_She stood, watching him walk away, studying the plane of his back. Until, without looking back, he walked out of the room, slid the door shut, and was gone. She heard his footsteps for a few seconds longer._

_Akito stared, hard, at the last place he had stood, only mere moments before. _

_

* * *

_

_...the end?_

_

* * *

_**-Author's Ramble:** I must admit, I liked this chapter. I like how it turned out, and I enjoyed writing it. (One can only hope that you enjoyed reading it just as much...) Yes, this is the end, and I have no plans for a sequel. I will, however, begin work on more Akito/Shigure fics, because we all know there's never enough of them. (beam) I humbly ask that you leave a review-- I would love to know how I did, and how well-reveived this last little bit was. With that said, I hope you enjoyed my fic. And... goodbye! 

ILB

* * *

_He haunts you and hurts you-- what a power this is. You cry and you scream, but you'll always be  
His._


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